Having brain fog is embarrassing. Stumbling for words... Having a good story and forgetting it halfway thru or not being able to remember someone's name... Or remember the word for something that you are describing. I have ran into this with simple words and it is so embarrassing for me. I get sympathetic looks or I get "What the hell is wrong with you?" looks.
Some of it is caused by all the meds that I take in order to be able to tolerate the pain at work. Some of it is caused from my health conditions, mainly fibromyalgia.
But here lately I just feel hopeless. I mean.... At what point as a chronic pain sufferer does someone say enough is enough and just goes home.... For good.... Is it necessary to be a part of a team? To work every day not knowing if you are going to be able to sit upright in that chair for the full 8 hrs? All of my coworkers are understanding, so it's not that. It's just that it emotionally hurts to not contribute as much as others. Not being able to stand at a desk because your blood pressure and heart rate are going nuts the longer you stand?
I just don't know. I keep praying that my body will allow me to work nine more years so that I can officially retire instead of go on disability.
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